Hey boys and girls, so i just got back from a week long snowboarding trip. I wish i could say i am the one in that picture but that's Travis Rice, on of the most influential boarders of all time. I am not quite at that skill level where i can fearlessly jump off a cliff and have the focus to do tricks at the same time but i do have a dream of dropping off a helicopter onto Mt Ngauruhoe and gapping the ridge of Mt Tongariro in New Zealand. I would show you a photo but i can't find a good one at the right angle.

After that first paragraph i have realized that i don't have a lot to say, there is a message that i want to get across to anyone reading this that knows me. On the mountain there was not a lot of snow, infact i have never seen that field like that, there were rocks everywhere, i mean that even getting off the chair lift you had to go out wide or board would get scratched up from the rocks appearing as the day went on. In one day i was five people getting stretchered down. I also heard about a kid that died on the otherside of the mountain because he hit his head on a rock. Even i got a bit messed up even though i was being more careful than usual, came off a jump at the wrong angle and landed in a patch of ice about 6 metres away, hit my left leg and hip. Another one that happened was on the first run of the last day, was just cruzing around a corner and hit and unexpected ice patch and slammed into the side, still can't move my left elbow properly.

I know it sounds like i am complaining a little but i am not, with everything that happened i had an awesome time and nailed some good jumps. You can pretty much as anyone on the mountain and if they really are a boarder or a skier then will all agree, its just good to be on the snow.

That actually brings me to my next point and the point that i want the people that know me to pay attention to. I was talking to a guy that is pretty high up on the mountain staff food chain and he told me some information that i don't think he really wanted me to share (so don't post it on their facebook wall). We were talking about the lack of snow, then it got serious, he said that if it was like this at the start of the season they would not have opened, infact if we don't get some snow soon, they will have to shutdown. That means that there is a possibility my season could be over more than a month or even two before the normal end of season. This means that i am going to spent as much time on the mountain as possible before that happens, this means that i will probably miss some trainings. I am sorry for this but you have to understand what it means to me, being on the snow, nothing else matters. You may have problems and issues to deal with in your life but when you are on the snow there is only you and your board, that's all you need to worry about, thats all that matters.


Ok i have to admit that the title and first picture don't have a lot to do with what this post is about but.....Meh.

If you have been reading my last few posts then you may have come to the same conclusions as i did when i flicked thorugh a few of them just then. I was looking through them for a comment on one of my posts but i couldn't really find it, just thought you should know that i do read the comments and thank you for making them. Also to that one person who talked about their site, the loading page looks cool, i look forward to the finish of its construction, even if i may have to translate it. I have tried to learn many languages over the years but nothing really stuck to me. The only words that i seem to be able to recall are swear words or counting to ten (which i can do in five different languages.. i know useful right).

Getting back to the point of the post, my last few posts have been quite serious, it seems that because i close my emotions off to a lot in real life that i have used this as an outlet for them. This is not exactly a good thing, in fact i was on facebook the day after my last post and saw that someone close to me wrote "what is the point of even getting up in the morning" , my first thought was, oops i hope that wasn't me, way to spread depression!

After coming back down to earth and remembering that i am not the warm little center of the universe that the world of this life crowds around i decided to write this, a look at a very simple motto that i have that means a lot to me.

The universe tends to unfold as it should.

This may sound familiar to a lot of you, this could be why...
It was said by the guy on the right in 'Harold and Kumar go to white castle'.

Now whether you heard it from the guy on the right, Max Ehrmann or are hearing it from me for the first time now, it doesn't matter. What really matters is the message.

With quotes and phrases like this, it all comes down to our own perception and interpretation. To me it says that things are going to happen, some you may like, others not so much but in the end it will all work out.
Before you start tearing holes in this like, where is god in all of this or telling me that i should define good or bad. If you do then you are missing the whole point. There is nothing either good or bad ,but thinking makes it so.

What i am trying (and failing) to say is that no matter what happens, everything works out as it should. I can think of one example a while back, I went on a trip to another city with a group of friends, just to hang out and have some fun. When we came to check out of our hotel they told us that the pricing on the website was in a different currency and the price was higher then what we thought it was. Now i was a little pissed of at the time, we paid but one of my friends said he was going to get the information and prove that they were wrong. I didn't question that my friend was right (i have known him for years and in a situation like this i knew 100% that he would be right) but after leaving the hotel i completely forgot about it, to be honest i didn't really care, to me it was one of those situations where i could let it slide because it truly didn't matter to me.

Now here is the thing, my friend proved that he was right and managed to get them to refund the difference. I am telling you this because for me to tell him to just let it go, that it didn't matter, that would not be following the motto because to him, it did matter to the point that he wanted to fight it, to prove to them they were wrong. If he did just let it go then that would be going against what he would naturally do. My natural thing to do at that time was no let it slide, his wasn't. There are situations when i would fight and he wouldn't see what the big deal was, everyone is different. Its up to you to make the choices for yourself, don't let people tell you what you should think or how you should feel about something. It is up to you and you alone.

I hope i explained this well enough for you to understand me. it you have any questions about this, just comment.

There is a song that helps me remember that 'the universe tends to unfold as it should'. It is Castles made of sand by Jimi Hendrix. I looked for a picture to end this post on but intstead i want you to do something for me, listen to this song, see what pictures come to mind.
It has been a long time since my last post. I know i say this every time and it is true every time but life does get in the way. Although that sounds like a cop out but its true. This time though let me explain.
I had a little.......( i don't really know how to explain it simply in any other way).... it was basically a midlife crisis.

Now i probably should tell you a little about myself for this to make any sense, I am 23, male and come from an average up bringing, nothing too traumatic in my past. The issue that came up was that i really have no purpose in life, nothing to drive me to a goal or objective. This has always been in the back of my mind but to be honest i didn't take much notice because i always knew that i would be dead before i reached this age.... obviously i was wrong.

To deal with it i retraced my steps on where my basic morality and beliefs came from. I was christened Catholic but never had all the emotional baggage of having it drilled into me. This allowed me to open my mind to other teachings. I realize as i say this that it would be hard for me to pin down all the details that make up my base or core belief system but let me say that I do believe that i am a good person. I an not saying that i am a perfect role model for every little kid but it is not like there is going to be a 60 minute special on the less than perfect things i do either.

There just a couple more details i need to add before i really start, just to give you a basic understanding of my mind set before all of this. So I did get into the whole kony2012 thing for a while but when i really got down to the down and dirty of it i came to a realization (not willingly at first), everyone has an agenda. The people that say they are doing the most are usually doing the least and critsize anything that doesn't go through the usual channels that we have learnt from past experience are highly inefficient. On the other hand the people that you could say do act do so in ways that have huge flaws anyway. The truth is that certain issues can be handled in much better ways but the fact that there will be collateral damage is why no one will ever do them. This was the end of my belief that i could devote myself to helpping the world and also the end in any real faith i had in humanity as a whole.

It is not all bad though, this realization led me to the belief that i should focus more on the people close to me, the people i care about. Although it can be hard sometimes, there is not much in this world that means more to me than my family and friends.

Now we come to the bit which i think is more interesting: what actually was going through my head during this period. Just to recap, no purpose in life, no meaning, no reason to actually continue to do anything. This led me to fall back on certain (lets call them) philosophies that have stuck in my mind...

Lets start with Dostoevsky just to get it out of the way, unlike others such as Nietzsche there was no strong base (in the works that i read) in religion of any kind. What i found useful from this work during this period was that there is no god, or if there is then god is absent so it is up to you to work out your sense of self. Whether it be that there is no afterlife so what is the point or that because of this you need to make the most of your time.

I know that what you just read was an over simplification but keep in mind that i am only going to highlight points that are relevant. Also there is a lot of information that i can put in here, references to books, films, articles, paintings, photography, songs.....basically everthing but i don't have the time and because of our modern way of life i am guessing you probably don't have the attention spand.
Fight Club, if you watched this film at that certain moment in your life then I can almost guarentee that it has had an impact on you. Now what that impact was is a completely different story.

Notice i said 'watched' in that first sentence, lets face it, everyone who read the book watched the movie first. If you didn't clap clap for you, your special. Now getting to the point of relevance, the basic ideal behind fight club is that we have lost something. In this world run by corperations the individual doesn't matter anymore. Advertising has use chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can by shit me don't need. We are not hunters and gatherers anymore, we are more like worker bees, a part of a system.

Now don't completely disregard the civilized world, because of this fact we have cured diseases and human life expectancy has dramatically increased. The issue that is raised is, at what cost. At the core of what i am trying to get at here is that trying to revert back, to reset everything back to Zero like they try to do would cause anarchy. There would be wars over basic resources, the truth is we have no where near enough retainable food for everyone. Laying strips of venison on an abandoned superhighway is a beautiful thought, having to rely on your ability to survive but for that to happen millions will die. The question is, if you really stop and take a look around you, in this world where we are probably going to die out because of over population. If we reset everything back to zero even at such a high cost, would that really be such a bad thing?

Now we get to the part of how to deal with these realizations.
I used the book cover above because there was not enough content to really explain it in the film. Before you jump to any conclusions let me explain. Patrick Bateman is what society dictates he should be, he is well educated, wealthy, dresses well, has up to date knowledge of what is new and popular eg music. Why i am referencing it is simple, he is what we should strive to be if not already be. All you have to do is purge yourself of any sign of who you are as an individual. Like the old example in martial arts, how can someone pour anymore knowledge into your cup if it is already full. If you purge yourslef of emotions, individual thought, wants and needs then you can create a shell to fill with what you need to fit in.

Patrick Bateman's flaw was that he still had anger and bloodlust, whether he commited the acts or not is irrelevent, the issue is that he had the need to do it at all.

To be honest i don't know how to end this post, looking back through i realized that i have painted a quite worrying picture. The fact is that there is so much more to any stituation than can be summed up in a few paragraphs with a couple of references. The best i can do would be to try and be direct with some facts.

The solutions that i have come up with have seemed to put me at ease. I have started training regularly and have found something to drive me that is not rooted in emotiional reactions. In saying that, in my search for a solution i did come across information to suggest that purging yourself of emtional responses can be beneficial but it can come at a cost, if you block out saddness and pain then it can block out your ability to feel happy as well. This fact has led me to other forms of control that i am currently working on. The simplest way to explain it would be that i have adopted a more military style mentality when it comes to objectives and goals.