So this has been in my drafts for a while and despite the heavy title and picture, I deleted the refined researched article and think i'll take this in a related but different direction.

Firstly, yes, I am headed to the Phillipines and yes it is a part that is known for being a little more....kidnap friendly than other places but in saying that, there are far more dangerous places in the world.

Still, I feel like I have to say this:

Before I start, to the people that know me and are reading this, I am completely one hundred percent serious when I say this. Please respect it and I apologize.

Even though it is unlikely that I will get kidnapped and ransomed if I ever do...

Do Not Pay.

If people always pay then this will remain a good income stream for kidnappers. Why stop doing something that has proven to be profitable. If people stop paying then the kidnappings will not be worth the effort.

I know what this means but I am a New Zealander and if New Zealand media has proven anything it is that if a person from New Zealand gets killed in a way like this then it will be reported on. Even if ten others were killed at my side, the main reason for them to follow up the story will be that one of their own is a victim.

In my life I have come across people that are so sure of themselves and their beliefs, some I respect.....others I do not. The ones I do not are the people that talk a lot about making a difference. Judge others for not conforming to their way of thinking. Then when it truly matters, when they are put in a position that they can act....they don't. They point out what is wrong without offering any solutions, they close their minds because it does not follow their perfect plan.

The world is not perfect, having forums and charity events and posting crap on facebook doesn't mean anything if you don't act when you are in a position to do so. People like that are just putting a plaster on a seven inch gash. 

I know that there is a lot under the surface here. I could go on for a long time, be specific, name names, but that would not solve anything. I just needed somewhere to write this that was accessible to the right people.

No matter what, don't pay. If you do then I will devote my entire existence to taking down the people that did it to me, no matter who they are. So I would be lost either way.
I am writing this now while it is fresh and raw in my mind. I was at a party today and some drama broke out down the street from where we were, about fifty people were around and fights were breaking out in between all of the shouting. A couple of people were worried about their cars so we went outside where we could see them and hung out for a while. We started talking about fighting and what we would do if something happened, i could see from one of the guys faces that he was jacked and so it wouldn't take much for him to act.

He told me that he had never been in a fight but he didn't have to, the reason why i recognized that look is because it had been on my face a lot when i was younger.

I would like to say first off that there is a difference between fighting and true violence. Peoples perception of fighting is that it is usually between two people and it ends before someones severe injury or death. Violence on the other hand is more intense and ends in blood and possible death.

I feel like i needed to state that first because that look was on my face before i have jumped into fights and other confrontational incidents. I've been in situations with knives being pulled on me, getting hit by weapons like bottles and being jumped or beaten. A couple of months back i was talking to a girl, i found out she dated a guy i hung out with at a few parties. Turns out that she was dating him when he was stabbed in the neck by another guy i knew.

Being involved in situations like this throughout my life has taught me that in the end, its not worth it. I am not going to watch people i care about end up in hospital or worse just because they were caught up in something that didn't have to happen.

I am not saying that you shouldn't defend yourself, i am saying that if you need to act then violence should be your last resort. If you act without thinking you could end up in prison, in hospital or dead.
I really should have posted this sooner but I have been a little strung out so better late than never.

Last Friday me and three of my close friends(and a gnome) set out on a road trip for the main purpose of riding the world's biggest water slide. I have read a lot of the articles about it in the last few days and looks like mines going to be the only 100% honest one.

Firstly, no one made it to the end of the biggest slide in a straight run. The only person who came close was one of the events organizers and he hit 550m and i would say it was more of a rumor than concrete fact.

Determined to make it to the end i pushed forward and made it to the end but it wasn't easy.
You gained speed in the first drop but there is a corner by the stage/food area (please refer to picture above) where it levels out and everyone stopped there. This left you with two choices, jump out and end your ride there or sprint for it and dive at the end of the flat bit.
This next bit is a bit of a blur, not because i don't remember but because my eyes were covered in foam, it even got stuck behind my sunglasses (free from skinny, smart advertising btw).
Then i reached a point where it was soft deep mud under the plastic of the slide, i'm talking about............
...Ok maybe not as bad as this....ohk like half way up my shin. Still it meant the slide didn't work.

With all the bad things i have said about the big slide the day was saved with the two others.
The 'Granny slide' gave you a smooth ride that you could get good speed on if you pushed it.

The highlight had to be the jump slide though, most fun to do and people started getting creative with flips n twists.

So.. this post was meant to be longer but i got distracted by the livemoreawesome facebook page as there was a photo of me on it.

In conclusion, thanks to my mates for everything on the trip, you know your close when you can solidly rip into each other for a full 16 hours on the road and everyone is still laughing by the end of it.

Thanks to my friend's cousin for letting us crash at your place, owe you one.

And thanks to the live more awesome team for the awesome day.

One more thing, there was this gladiator thing with the..... this thing
My friends and i are cheering these two females on, mainly shouting 'GO FOR THE FACE' and 'GO FOR THE EYES' but funny thing was, it was Jaquie Brown. 
A while back i went skating with a couple of friends, when we got tired from trying to do real tricks we started coming up with random ideas. Needless to say, they were not well thought out ideas and so on the last one i messed up my wrist.

While i was cleaning up my arm i sort of let my mind wonder.....this is what came out......

I sit in my kitchen
dressing my scrape
She burst in all angry
like a mad, crazy ape

She looked at my arm
with a narrowing stare
What dumb thing did you do
to cause that right there?

I thought for a second
looking her up and then down
Oh what could i say
that would worsen her frown

I held back a grin
as i did clear my throat
A challenge was made
i was elected by vote

For obvious reasons
i was the best
For i had the courage
to take up the quest

I rolled up my sleeves 
a mistake that had been
for i stripped off my skin
as you have already seen

But back to the story
so i prepared for my dare
I mentally focused
The time was now here

I rolled down the hill
at a blistering pace
You could see i was ready
by the look on my face

I got ready to jump
my stance became low
If i felt any fear
not an ounce did it show

I flew through the air
at an astonishing height
Like there was a gale force wind
and i was a kite

I landed down easy
a board under my feet
I was a winner
No taste of defeat

But in that split second
when all was alright
something went wrong
that i could not fight

My arm hit the ground
with a terrible thud
Then i saw something red
oh crap that's my blood

I stood up and said
with a widening smile
I thought that i had it
for a very short while

After hearing all that
She wasn't impressed
But i didn't care
the wound was all dressed.


Like usual it has been a long time since my last post but if i was completely honest i would have to say that i didn't think i would ever be back here. I was not happy with the direction it was going, looking back at the posts it seemed like the only time i felt like writing was when something bad happened so all the posts were depressing or had too much information i didn't want out there. So i'm back but things are going to be different.

First things first, if you look at the pages bar you will notice a new tab (Sport). I have posted about sports in the past but not regularly or in great depth, this was mainly due to the fact not a lot of people that i am close to like the same sports so i just kept it to myself. Recently though i have noticed that more and more people are becoming fans of different sports. That lead to a new problem for me, where should i post about it?

Went with twitter first but the 140 character limit was not only annoying but it made me sound like i was always trying to write everything as a quote. Next was facebook, this didn't work out for two main reasons, the first being i didn't want to become that guy who posts every hour about stats and games that most people don't follow. The second being, how harsh is too harsh? 

A good example of this was the Celtics v Lakers game the other day. A guy i grew up with is a hardcore Lakers fan, now during the losing streak i felt the urge to just rip into him hard but seems hes kind of sensitive i thought i'd be nice and leave it. Then the other day i noticed that his mum thanked him for a birthday gift he got her, so i started writing the comment out "Oh cool, did he get you a Lakers win?".  Just before clicking i realized that i was going to post that on something all of his family were posting on and probably would show on my mums profile and kind of make me look like a dick so i decided not to, so facebook was out. 

Then i remembered this site.....
So a little heads up of whats to come, opinions on sports, random stuff that i have created myself (not just recycled stuff), stuff that i find funny and hopefully less stuff about problems/emotion.

Bye for now and.........
"Have a beautiful time"
I have never broken a bone in my life and considering some of the stupid things i have done, that's really saying something. 
Last Sunday i went up to the mountain for a one day snowboarding trip. It was the last hour of the day and too be honest i wasn't having the greatest runs so i decided to work on my jumps.
There was a certain jump that i hit a couple of times that day but i wasn't happy with the landing...i now realize things could be worse....

I had my legs bent to get a good push off for a grab....i timing was shockingly off and there was nothing under my back foot...legs came out and i landed square on my back or slightly to the right... got up straight away like i usually do when boarding but couldn't breathe...
Went to the doctor two days later when the sharp pain wasn't going away.
He asked the usual questions and did this test when he pushed both sides of my chest to the middle...yes, i do feel it (please stop now). Had some x rays done and no fractures were found. My doctor said that he thinks its a hair-line fracture and that i should use discretion if training and that its in my best interest to take it easier for a while.

After that i called my Mum to tell her about what had happened, figured it would be better if i told her because i didn't 100% trust my friends to keep it off facebook. She wasn't exactly thrilled.... one thing that she did say that got under my skin was "you better be careful, you don't want to become and invalid". I didn't say it out loud at the time because it would not have done any good in the current conversation but i was thinking, if i stop doing what i want to do, if i don't push myself to the limits of what i am capable of just because i am afraid that i could get hurt.....well then there is no point in being fully functional anyway.

That Joe Dirt picture is there because i was going to make a reference to when he talked about how he was born without the top of his skull and it freaked the other kids out so his parents put a wig on his head and the bone and stuff fused together and the wig got stuck to his head. At the end of saying that he said something like 'sorry for talking all technical there'.

Anyway, that is all. I am still going to claim that i have never broken a bone, i don't think this counts.
Hey boys and girls, so i just got back from a week long snowboarding trip. I wish i could say i am the one in that picture but that's Travis Rice, on of the most influential boarders of all time. I am not quite at that skill level where i can fearlessly jump off a cliff and have the focus to do tricks at the same time but i do have a dream of dropping off a helicopter onto Mt Ngauruhoe and gapping the ridge of Mt Tongariro in New Zealand. I would show you a photo but i can't find a good one at the right angle.

After that first paragraph i have realized that i don't have a lot to say, there is a message that i want to get across to anyone reading this that knows me. On the mountain there was not a lot of snow, infact i have never seen that field like that, there were rocks everywhere, i mean that even getting off the chair lift you had to go out wide or board would get scratched up from the rocks appearing as the day went on. In one day i was five people getting stretchered down. I also heard about a kid that died on the otherside of the mountain because he hit his head on a rock. Even i got a bit messed up even though i was being more careful than usual, came off a jump at the wrong angle and landed in a patch of ice about 6 metres away, hit my left leg and hip. Another one that happened was on the first run of the last day, was just cruzing around a corner and hit and unexpected ice patch and slammed into the side, still can't move my left elbow properly.

I know it sounds like i am complaining a little but i am not, with everything that happened i had an awesome time and nailed some good jumps. You can pretty much as anyone on the mountain and if they really are a boarder or a skier then will all agree, its just good to be on the snow.

That actually brings me to my next point and the point that i want the people that know me to pay attention to. I was talking to a guy that is pretty high up on the mountain staff food chain and he told me some information that i don't think he really wanted me to share (so don't post it on their facebook wall). We were talking about the lack of snow, then it got serious, he said that if it was like this at the start of the season they would not have opened, infact if we don't get some snow soon, they will have to shutdown. That means that there is a possibility my season could be over more than a month or even two before the normal end of season. This means that i am going to spent as much time on the mountain as possible before that happens, this means that i will probably miss some trainings. I am sorry for this but you have to understand what it means to me, being on the snow, nothing else matters. You may have problems and issues to deal with in your life but when you are on the snow there is only you and your board, that's all you need to worry about, thats all that matters.


Ok i have to admit that the title and first picture don't have a lot to do with what this post is about but.....Meh.

If you have been reading my last few posts then you may have come to the same conclusions as i did when i flicked thorugh a few of them just then. I was looking through them for a comment on one of my posts but i couldn't really find it, just thought you should know that i do read the comments and thank you for making them. Also to that one person who talked about their site, the loading page looks cool, i look forward to the finish of its construction, even if i may have to translate it. I have tried to learn many languages over the years but nothing really stuck to me. The only words that i seem to be able to recall are swear words or counting to ten (which i can do in five different languages.. i know useful right).

Getting back to the point of the post, my last few posts have been quite serious, it seems that because i close my emotions off to a lot in real life that i have used this as an outlet for them. This is not exactly a good thing, in fact i was on facebook the day after my last post and saw that someone close to me wrote "what is the point of even getting up in the morning" , my first thought was, oops i hope that wasn't me, way to spread depression!

After coming back down to earth and remembering that i am not the warm little center of the universe that the world of this life crowds around i decided to write this, a look at a very simple motto that i have that means a lot to me.

The universe tends to unfold as it should.

This may sound familiar to a lot of you, this could be why...
It was said by the guy on the right in 'Harold and Kumar go to white castle'.

Now whether you heard it from the guy on the right, Max Ehrmann or are hearing it from me for the first time now, it doesn't matter. What really matters is the message.

With quotes and phrases like this, it all comes down to our own perception and interpretation. To me it says that things are going to happen, some you may like, others not so much but in the end it will all work out.
Before you start tearing holes in this like, where is god in all of this or telling me that i should define good or bad. If you do then you are missing the whole point. There is nothing either good or bad ,but thinking makes it so.

What i am trying (and failing) to say is that no matter what happens, everything works out as it should. I can think of one example a while back, I went on a trip to another city with a group of friends, just to hang out and have some fun. When we came to check out of our hotel they told us that the pricing on the website was in a different currency and the price was higher then what we thought it was. Now i was a little pissed of at the time, we paid but one of my friends said he was going to get the information and prove that they were wrong. I didn't question that my friend was right (i have known him for years and in a situation like this i knew 100% that he would be right) but after leaving the hotel i completely forgot about it, to be honest i didn't really care, to me it was one of those situations where i could let it slide because it truly didn't matter to me.

Now here is the thing, my friend proved that he was right and managed to get them to refund the difference. I am telling you this because for me to tell him to just let it go, that it didn't matter, that would not be following the motto because to him, it did matter to the point that he wanted to fight it, to prove to them they were wrong. If he did just let it go then that would be going against what he would naturally do. My natural thing to do at that time was no let it slide, his wasn't. There are situations when i would fight and he wouldn't see what the big deal was, everyone is different. Its up to you to make the choices for yourself, don't let people tell you what you should think or how you should feel about something. It is up to you and you alone.

I hope i explained this well enough for you to understand me. it you have any questions about this, just comment.

There is a song that helps me remember that 'the universe tends to unfold as it should'. It is Castles made of sand by Jimi Hendrix. I looked for a picture to end this post on but intstead i want you to do something for me, listen to this song, see what pictures come to mind.
It has been a long time since my last post. I know i say this every time and it is true every time but life does get in the way. Although that sounds like a cop out but its true. This time though let me explain.
I had a little.......( i don't really know how to explain it simply in any other way).... it was basically a midlife crisis.

Now i probably should tell you a little about myself for this to make any sense, I am 23, male and come from an average up bringing, nothing too traumatic in my past. The issue that came up was that i really have no purpose in life, nothing to drive me to a goal or objective. This has always been in the back of my mind but to be honest i didn't take much notice because i always knew that i would be dead before i reached this age.... obviously i was wrong.

To deal with it i retraced my steps on where my basic morality and beliefs came from. I was christened Catholic but never had all the emotional baggage of having it drilled into me. This allowed me to open my mind to other teachings. I realize as i say this that it would be hard for me to pin down all the details that make up my base or core belief system but let me say that I do believe that i am a good person. I an not saying that i am a perfect role model for every little kid but it is not like there is going to be a 60 minute special on the less than perfect things i do either.

There just a couple more details i need to add before i really start, just to give you a basic understanding of my mind set before all of this. So I did get into the whole kony2012 thing for a while but when i really got down to the down and dirty of it i came to a realization (not willingly at first), everyone has an agenda. The people that say they are doing the most are usually doing the least and critsize anything that doesn't go through the usual channels that we have learnt from past experience are highly inefficient. On the other hand the people that you could say do act do so in ways that have huge flaws anyway. The truth is that certain issues can be handled in much better ways but the fact that there will be collateral damage is why no one will ever do them. This was the end of my belief that i could devote myself to helpping the world and also the end in any real faith i had in humanity as a whole.

It is not all bad though, this realization led me to the belief that i should focus more on the people close to me, the people i care about. Although it can be hard sometimes, there is not much in this world that means more to me than my family and friends.

Now we come to the bit which i think is more interesting: what actually was going through my head during this period. Just to recap, no purpose in life, no meaning, no reason to actually continue to do anything. This led me to fall back on certain (lets call them) philosophies that have stuck in my mind...

Lets start with Dostoevsky just to get it out of the way, unlike others such as Nietzsche there was no strong base (in the works that i read) in religion of any kind. What i found useful from this work during this period was that there is no god, or if there is then god is absent so it is up to you to work out your sense of self. Whether it be that there is no afterlife so what is the point or that because of this you need to make the most of your time.

I know that what you just read was an over simplification but keep in mind that i am only going to highlight points that are relevant. Also there is a lot of information that i can put in here, references to books, films, articles, paintings, photography, songs.....basically everthing but i don't have the time and because of our modern way of life i am guessing you probably don't have the attention spand.
Fight Club, if you watched this film at that certain moment in your life then I can almost guarentee that it has had an impact on you. Now what that impact was is a completely different story.

Notice i said 'watched' in that first sentence, lets face it, everyone who read the book watched the movie first. If you didn't clap clap for you, your special. Now getting to the point of relevance, the basic ideal behind fight club is that we have lost something. In this world run by corperations the individual doesn't matter anymore. Advertising has use chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can by shit me don't need. We are not hunters and gatherers anymore, we are more like worker bees, a part of a system.

Now don't completely disregard the civilized world, because of this fact we have cured diseases and human life expectancy has dramatically increased. The issue that is raised is, at what cost. At the core of what i am trying to get at here is that trying to revert back, to reset everything back to Zero like they try to do would cause anarchy. There would be wars over basic resources, the truth is we have no where near enough retainable food for everyone. Laying strips of venison on an abandoned superhighway is a beautiful thought, having to rely on your ability to survive but for that to happen millions will die. The question is, if you really stop and take a look around you, in this world where we are probably going to die out because of over population. If we reset everything back to zero even at such a high cost, would that really be such a bad thing?

Now we get to the part of how to deal with these realizations.
I used the book cover above because there was not enough content to really explain it in the film. Before you jump to any conclusions let me explain. Patrick Bateman is what society dictates he should be, he is well educated, wealthy, dresses well, has up to date knowledge of what is new and popular eg music. Why i am referencing it is simple, he is what we should strive to be if not already be. All you have to do is purge yourself of any sign of who you are as an individual. Like the old example in martial arts, how can someone pour anymore knowledge into your cup if it is already full. If you purge yourslef of emotions, individual thought, wants and needs then you can create a shell to fill with what you need to fit in.

Patrick Bateman's flaw was that he still had anger and bloodlust, whether he commited the acts or not is irrelevent, the issue is that he had the need to do it at all.

To be honest i don't know how to end this post, looking back through i realized that i have painted a quite worrying picture. The fact is that there is so much more to any stituation than can be summed up in a few paragraphs with a couple of references. The best i can do would be to try and be direct with some facts.

The solutions that i have come up with have seemed to put me at ease. I have started training regularly and have found something to drive me that is not rooted in emotiional reactions. In saying that, in my search for a solution i did come across information to suggest that purging yourself of emtional responses can be beneficial but it can come at a cost, if you block out saddness and pain then it can block out your ability to feel happy as well. This fact has led me to other forms of control that i am currently working on. The simplest way to explain it would be that i have adopted a more military style mentality when it comes to objectives and goals.

As per usual it has been a while since my last post. I don't know if i have mentioned this before or not but memes and demotivationals have gone mainstream. They are all over facebook, twitter and you can also get apps that just have hundreds of these pictures. Now before you say it, i am not going all....
..No it just bugs the crap out of me when people use the references when they are talking in real life and they are exactly the people that the memes were made to make fun of.

So with everything at everyones finger tips, this site has become pretty much redundant but to all the people that i am thinking about right now, let me tell you a little bit about the origin of the shit that used to stay safely on the internet but now rolls out of your mouth every couple of seconds.

The most logical place to start would be here:
/b/ the asshole of the internt. It is a place where people would post anything and everything, no matter how sick, twisted or wrong. It didn't matter because it is/was anonymous.

/b/ has changed, i could bitch like the others and say that its been infected by the 'cancer' but the truth is that what has happened is a natural evolution, as soon as it became popular and accepted then it became ok to use the content in real life(using your real name). In saying that though, the fact that it is now mainstream means that the content of /b/ has changed as now it has to adhere to the guidelines of what is accepted in general society.

So for all the people that could be called 'cancer', lets have a little histroy lesson.

4chan was created buy moot (Christopher Poole) as a place to discuss and share anime but the fact that there were no real rules gave birth to the /b/-Random thread. /b/ was a place where you could post anything and everything anonymously. this of course meant that as well as the usual socially unacceptable things there were also illegal things posted. to monitor this activity they had moderators. But they can't catch everything.

Since /b/ is a different place now, these issues are not as much of an issue. Bans are regular.

I realize that even though i have mentioned many times in this post that things have changed i haven't given any examples of this, let me remedy this now:

As i mentioned previously, /b/ used to be a place of no rules and because it operated outside of normal society it didn't have to follow the guidelines of what was thought to be as socially accpetable.

/b/ was not a place to find support and sympathy: There have been multiple cases of suicidal people going to /b/ saying that they are going to kill themselves and being met with 'DO IT FAGGOT'. Some going through with it implicating /b/ as a contributing cause.

Nothing was off limits: I have seen memorial pages been torn apart by /b/, and when the pages get taken down or frozen they have gone after the profiles of the dead persons family.

They will find you: There is no information they couldn't get on someone. I have seen a thread start with a simple photo or video and within minutes there was their email, phone numbers, address and even gps locations.

It did feel bad sometimes: There were moments in the mess of it that you could see that people realized that things were wrong. When people die my mistake and it could have been prevented.

There is a lot more i could say on that but i am not planning to go into detail, just give you an idea.

So next natural step:
/b/ was the home if not the birth place of anonymous. Anonymous a collective effort of like minded ideals. The original goals were orientated around fairness and justice for the users of the internet, for example big corpertaions milking the average person just because they can or government agencies and companies working together to stop the sharing of information. The attacks made by anonymous were mainly hacking and overloading servers of the people that were seen to have done wrong. It was a way of saying that we won't be fucked with.

.....but like everything else, Anonymous has changed too...
This is the new anonymous, they have become a movement with many members. They do protests and although the core goals have not changed that much, the practices have. The members are known to authorities, because of this they are bound by the law and cannot be associated with illegal practices.

The association between /b/ and anonymous was fractured in what is commonly known as the death of /b/. This refers to the new rule being inforced saying that no invasions were permitted. This meant that dicussions associated with such actions could be met with bans or perma bans.

This started a slippery slope of mods and admins having more and more power. Also because the rules were never written or defined that meant that the mods could ban people at will without needing a definative reason.

The fact that i didn't really plan this post makes me wonder whether i made the pointe that  i wanted to make so let me reiterate, the memes that are so widely used and referenced today come from a place that was dedicated to untethered free speech. Now because of the fact that so many people go to that site and use the content in non-anonymous ways the content has to adhere to what is socially acceptable. The general understanding of /b/ was that you were never to talk about it, what goes on there stays there.

Now i know that some of you would be thinking...
...and im ok with that, i gave you information, its up to you what you think about it. In saying that though, i want
you to ask yourself what you are soing when you talk like that out loud.

When you post it on facebook where your friends and family can see it.

Because if they know where it came from and what else is associated with that shit, what do you think they will think of you.

To those people that still do it (especially the people that contruct their sentences in real life conversations with references to memes)

Shut the fuck up, its annoying and makes me cringe...and also this is what i think when i hear it.....